Richard Herring
Comic Richard Herring’s sideways look at politics, people and everyday life
Spending less time with your family...
- 11 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 26 September 2008
Wouldn't we like our politicians more if they didn't treat us like children? Wouldn't we like them more if they were candid?
I hate politicians. They are idiots. Pretty much without exception. One has a vague feeling that there might have been some more honourable ones, in some bygone era, but in reality those George Washingtons and Mahatma Gandhis and William Gladstones were probably as hollow and rotten and transparent (not a good combination, as their festering emptiness is on full view to the world) as the ones we've got now.
As [...]
What would Rasputin do?
- 2 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 10 September 2008
Comedian Richard Herring on Lee Hurst, clashing with hecklers, how he smashed a ringing mobile phone to smithereens and kicked someone in the head. Sort of...
I am back in the news again. Just a casual mention in an Independent article about Lee Hurst breaking a punter's phone.
The relevant bit reads "In 2005, the comedian Richard Herring smashed an audience member's mobile. When the owner went on stage to demand £70 for the phone, Herring quipped: "I'm not giving you £70 for that. It's broken.""
The story was picked up (and slightly twisted [...]
Spirit of the Fringe? You must be joking...
- 0 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 28 August 2008
You can't capture the essence of Edinburgh in a corporate-sponsored perspex award and musicals about Pot Noodles
I have been blogging every day for nearly six years now, sounding off in the comfort of my house, often forgetting that all the crap I am spewing out can be read by anyone in the world who has a computer and the inclination to find it.
As Edinburgh drew to a close I blogged about my dissatisfaction with the if.comedy panel. Basically I said it was a bit [...]
Dancing in the rain
- 2 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 14 August 2008
There was something rawly sexual about this gaggle of half-drowned young people cavorting and hugging and splashing in the mud. And not in an obvious and cheap way.
I have been in Edinburgh for over a fortnight now and am half way through the run of my latest stand up show, The Headmaster’s Son. It’s going rather well this year, thanks for asking (oh you didn’t), although I have just nearly crippled myself by trying to leap frog on to a high stool on stage, forgetting I am 41 years old and twatting myself in the ribs.
[...]Jumping off the scaffold
- 3 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 29 July 2008
Herring on the dangers of having an annoying child and whether it would be worth it for tax purposes. Plus history and news Guy Fawkes jumped before he was dropped
On my way up to the Edinburgh Fringe (The Headmaster’s Son – Underbelly, 7.30pm) I stopped off for a gig in Newcastle and stayed with my friend Jeremy. He has two children, an inquisitive seven year old boy and his shy younger sister, who wasn't quite sure about me. At breakfast she made herself a small hide out of cereal boxes which blocked me out or her in [...]
Herring is getting old
- 5 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 14 July 2008
As he turns 41, Herring moans about men who leave their towels lying around in the locker room.
I have just turned 41 years old. It’s the start of my 42nd year on this planet. I am experiencing every date of the year for the 42nd time – apart from February 29th which I’ve done a mere eleven times, which means I am not as jaded with it as I am with all the others. Forty two July 16ths! I think once you’ve lived through twenty-five July 16ths [...]
Judgemental force of nerds
- 7 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 30 June 2008
Herring thanks you, his audience, for ensuring he sticks to the path of righteousness and refrains from fleecing the elderly...
I sat on the bench outside WH Smiths in Hammersmith to drink the warm bottle of diet coke that I had just bought from the store. "Sorry the fridge isn't working," said the lady at the check out. She seemed genuinely sorry for the refrigerator malfunction. I didn't really mind. It was going to get warm in my stomach in any case. I just needed the liquid and the caffeine [...]
Signing Herring's filth
- 4 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 17 June 2008
The comedy that can be had when someone signs your gig...
Last week I did a stand up gig promoting SCOPE’s Time To Get Equal Week (it is now no longer Time To Get Equal Week, but I’d like to think this is a cause worth supporting all the year round). As usual with these SCOPE things I got much more out of it than I gave. It was a terrifically fun gig for me. I had been a bit [...]
Exposing little Richard
- 20 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 03 June 2008
Herring ponders his stalled teenage song-writing career, and wonders whether he really can blame everything on his parents
I am working my way through my old diaries and schoolbooks and folders full of childhood memorabilia as preparation for my new Edinburgh show, “The Headmaster’s Son”. My dad was the headmaster at the secondary school I went to and I am hoping to prove that this fact caused the psychological damage that explains why I am such a fuck up as an adult - unable to commit to anyone, [...]
Shoes: a warning
- 30 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 16 May 2008
A potential partner's choice of footwear should be carefully observed
You can judge a person by their shoes.
I haven’t really considered that cliché before, but I think it’s probably true. You have to make a lot of decisions when buying a shoe, about style, comfort etc. It’s a definite statement, though it’s sometimes a statement which, although bold, leaves its audience thinking, “What the fuck does that statement mean?”
There was a girl opposite me on the tube today, [...]
The joys of parenthood
- 20 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 06 May 2008
The wages are terrible, the job is 24/7 and you're contracted in for a minimum of, ooh, 18 years...
Parents should get much more credit than they do. The problem with having children is that it is a twenty-four hour job, seven days a week for (at least) eighteen years and the wages are terrible. You have to pay for the privilege.
Oh, of course, you get the joy of seeing the course of a new young life and the triumphs and disasters that will ensue. But when you’re [...]
St Paul's misogyny
- 18 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 22 April 2008
Holidaying in Sicily, Herring ponders St Paul's attitude to women and asks why, if love is doomed, we all keep chasing it ... a triumph of hope over experience?
I have just been on holiday to Sicily. It’s a beautiful place, lots of history, amazing scenery and driving there is a seat of the pants exhilarating dance with death. But it’s not a bad thing to be reminded of your mortality. I find it makes you live life harder.
I was based in Syracuse, which has some pretty incredible sights, least of which is the gigantic modern Cathedral, built [...]
Flying with porn
- 9 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 07 April 2008
How many people take condoms and pornography in their hand luggage? Please get in touch...
I have been enjoying reading about these alleged would-be aeroplane bombers, apparently intent on taking down aircraft with Lucozade. Even though they didn't manage that, they have caused something much worse, which is to make our journey through airport security more arduous. God damn those Oasis drinking lunatics.
But the detail that interested me was that the diary that perhaps details their plan suggested that the bombers had porn [...]
Jordan, Lorraine and me
- 19 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 25 March 2008
An encounter with the silicone-enhanced phenomenon on the GMTV sofa
Katie Price, aka Jordan, is all over the papers at the moment, not that she ever isn’t, but I’ve seen her staring out at me from several magazine covers in the last week or so. The Guardian even did a big feature on the topless model turned TV celebrity/singer/author/product endorser/millionaire.
I don’t know what she’s pushing at the moment, possibly one of the novels that have her name on the [...]
Service station lover
- 5 comments
- Posted by Richard Herring
- 10 March 2008
I don’t know if you read the New Statesman web pages, oh beautiful Ritazza woman, but if you do then please get in touch
So I am about half way through my latest tour of the UK, with my show about the delights of turning 40. It is a relentless routine of travelling, usually by car, interrupted by two hours of talking to a room full of strangers, then back on to the motorway for a four hour drive home in the dark.
Were I more successful I would be able to pay [...]
